183562

Joke of the Day

"I went for a job interview in a Art Gallery today, but the interviewers seemed to hate everything about me. I didn't really paint a good picture of myself."

"It's getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"This deodorant says ""avoid contact with eyes"" Too late...I've already seen it."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""redacted"" can you use it in a sentence? The is and ."

"Who was the widest knight at King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference, he ate too much pi"

"Three men walk into a bar... One ducks."

"Anxiety: making it impossible to tell the difference between a minor problem and a catastrophe since the development of the frontal lobe!"

"What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire? ""Holy smoke!"""

"I saw two blind dudes fighting the other day... .. and I yelled ""I'm rooting for the one with the knife!"" Both of them ran away."