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Joke of the Day

"My wife texted me at lunch ""Window's frozen"" ""Pour warm water on it, then lightly tap the edges with a hammer and chisel"" I replied. Ten minutes later, she called back. ""We need a new computer now""."

"I admit I thought cloning Wanda Sykes 10,000 times was a dumb idea, but looks like the TSA managed to hire all of them"

"My friend had to step in as the lead of Little Shop of Horrors at the last second. He was Suddenly Seymour."

"Glad my car insurance company requires a 10 character password to log-in. Wouldn't want someone to hack in and...pay my insurance bill"

"*cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*"

"What kind of jokes does a priest tell? Dad jokes"

"What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed? Alpaca bowl!!!"

"Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere."

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."

"Without context, where would we be? Joke is the title. If you don't get it, think about it a bit."