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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream? A: Wet feet."

"My 5 year old brother said ""when I'm older I won't have a GF, I'll live on my own like my big brother"" YEAH CAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY A CHOICE"

"Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup? Anyone can mash potatoes!"

"""Don't you play stupid with me!"" shouted my wife. ""Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?"" I replied."

"How is being a middle manager like being stuck in a tree full of monkeys? Whenever you look down, all you see is grinning faces. Whenever you look up, all you see is assholes."

"[my son brings a meme home] please can we keep him [me loading shot gun] leave the room Gregg"

"What is the problem with high frequency? It Hertz"

"A magician is driving down a road... and turns into a driveway."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""They wouldn't renew Sex and the City for another season."""

"What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA NA NA NA. BA NA NA NA."