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Joke of the Day

"It's okay when Daisy Duck walks around in high heels and with no pants on but when I do it people are all ""this is a church, young lady."""

"I was seeing this one girl for two months Until she found out I was there."

"Why would you wrap a hamster in duct tape? So it won't explode when you fuck it."

"Luis Suarez is to appear in the next Star Wars film. He'll play Chewbacca's brother, Chewshoulder."

"A new report has concluded that dog owners are more outgoing than cat owners. Hardly surprising. You have to take a dog for walks."

"""i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope"" ""use divorce, luke"""

"Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school? Sounds like he had already done the... time"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"After watching all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies I realized the biggest twist... ...his career has been dead the whole time."

"A Cuban just arrived on a raft... And is being interviewed when they ask him Name? ""Manolo"". Sex? ""Two to three times a week"" No,no i mean Male or Female? ""Well whatever I can get that week"""