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Joke of the Day

"Luis Suarez is to appear in the next Star Wars film. He'll play Chewbacca's brother, Chewshoulder."

"I bought some ""no more tears"" shampoo but her hair still tore right out!"

"Toilet humor Why was the toilet scared? Because shit was about to go down!"

"Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to ""1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"""

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you behind and never comes back."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin. They hatin. Patrollin and tryna catch me ridin dirty."

"How does a farmer count cows? with a cow-calculator."

"Why did the Russians lose the space race? Their rocket kept Stalin!"

"[rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*"

"I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75 and she has $.25"