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Joke of the Day

"In a new interview, President Obama revealed that his daughter Malia recently went to her first prom. She wore a corsage on her wrist while her date wore a red laser dot on his head."

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"Why didn't Jesus eat bacon? It wasn't because he was Jewish, it's because he didn't exsist."
"If I got a penny for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have all the money in the world."
"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""
"Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner? Because someone stole his boat."
"1st old man says ""I wish I could pee with no problems"", 2nd old man says ""I wish I could poop easily"", 3rd old man says ""I easily do both by 10am...."" "".... problem is, I don't wake up til noon"""
"My local bar had an amateur magic night, a gay magician sat on a bar stool and made it disappear. Thank you, I'll walk myself out."
"[FBI job interview] ""Do you have any self defense training?"" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing."
"What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it? A Jolly Rancher."
"Why was the young strawberry crying? His parents were in a jam."