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Joke of the Day

"Saw two elementary students get in a fistfight so as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance"

"I went to Russia, met a guy called Vladislav * **Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.**"

"Beer nuts are so dang expensive... ...luckily deer nuts are just under a buck."

"My love is like a candle... Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground."

"Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha"

"My parents are pretty middle aged. ""So? That's pretty norm-"" *two knights bust in* ""CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"""

"I know a great joke about a FedEx plane but it's probably over your head."

"What was Bruce lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaah!"

"I hate reality shows. Like this one, for instance, called ""The News."""

"Yo momma so fat She got an event horizon."