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Joke of the Day

"How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? ""Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."""

"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."

"I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery.... ....she was in charge of the hops."

"Hey, people who use crystals or all-natural products instead of deodorant: You don't need to keep informing us. We know."

"A Priest and a Rabbi walk by a park... The Priest turns to the Rabbi and days, ""Hey, wanna screw 'em?"" The Rabbi looks confused for a moment, and replies with, ""Out of what?"""

"Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein."

"it's true My wife says not everybody pees in the shower. I need yall's help proving her wrong. Rate: Pees in shower and proud of it! Comment: Uh, no! What is wrong with you?!"

"When I die... When I die, I hope it is peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers."

"Did you hear about the kindergartener with a bad knee? He needed a kid knee transplant."

"When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy."