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Joke of the Day
"Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven."
Next Joke
"How do you tell... How do you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes!"
"""To infinity (bed, bath) and beyond!"" - Buzz Lightyear settles down"
"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."
"Exercise never hurt anyone... ... unless you run marathons. (Braces for downvotes)"
"If you are getting bald, just rub toilet paper in the affected area and you'll begin to grow hair. Don't believe me? Just take a look to your butthole."
"What do you call it when you accidentally drop a flower? An oopsy daisy."
"Who'd win if Batman fought Santa? Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer."
"Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ? Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV."
"I was thinking of joining the Hug-A-Cactus foundation but I hear they deal with alot of pricks."