182935

Joke of the Day

"What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common? Going down on any of them would be horrifying."

"What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn? A garden Jose."

"My favorite part about being an adult is that my pillow fort now has a mini bar."

"[Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*"

"Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday."

"PJ time - Slogan behind an auto rickshaw I couldn't afford Volkswagen. Thus, Auto"

"My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying."

"Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind. Little Jimmy's dad walks into his son's room and says, ""Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind."" Little Jimmy: ""Dad I'm over here, in the living room..."""

"What do you call saplings in the army? the infantry"

"Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury them."