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Joke of the Day

"A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken said.. ""dont do it man, you will never hear the end of it"""

"What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland? ""Everyone got seat belts on back there?"""

"Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"Everyone uses body wash these days. What happened to good old-fashion soap? Is it too basic?"

"[demetri martin] A drunk driver is very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. ""Go left."" -""Dude those are trees."" ""trust me."""

"What's a 6.9? A good time ruined by a period."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. You don't need a light bulb when you have a glass ceiling"

"What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife? A knife has a point."

"Advice from gay people. Never take tips from gay people, because you might get shafted. Disclosure: Am not homophobic!"

"How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing? They look in the obituary"