18267

Joke of the Day

"I hope that fat guy didn't notice me glancing at the weight limit sign on the elevator just now. Or clearing my throat and pointing at it."

"i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead"

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"

"The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost$107,000 this year which is relatively cheap considering the amount of human trafficking in the song."

"Thought it would be romantic to serenade this girl with some Elvis. I swear that's the last time I sing ""You ain't nothin but a hound dog"""

"Why did the lobster blush? Because the see weed."

"What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark!"

"What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?"

"SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bonnie ! Bonnie who ? Bonnie by soloflex !"