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Joke of the Day

"The WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."

"When it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do everyday is not die."

"There was a prison break and I locked eyes with a midget as he climbed up the fence. As he jumped over he sneered at me and I thought, ""Well, that's a little condescending."""

"What was the victim of the car crash wearing? A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is..."

"I basically have 3 hairstyles... Straight. Wavy. Homeless."

"I have had it up to HERE with visual metaphors in non-visual formats!"

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaayyyyy! Sounds better with a stereotypical SOA biker voice. I'll show myself out."

"What is Jesus' favorite band? Nine Inch Nails"

"Purifying yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka Not as effective as NyQuil"

"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far"