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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Canadian in outer space? An Eh-lien!"

"Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined"

"I once farted in an Apple Store and everyone got pissed.. It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"BLONDE COUNTING Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."

"I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes and my dad's really going to get the hump!"

"I would like to make a pun about philosophy,... ...but I Kant."

"Girls read smiles And the gap in your teeth spell friendzone"

"SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?"

"It's a shame the Parisian Christmas Buttplug was destroyed... It fitted in so well."

"Watching soccer gives me the same feeling as watching a drunk guy try to get his key in the door."