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Joke of the Day

"Error: We only accept Word files (.doc or .docx) It is 2014 and we just plain dont know how to open a pdf. it is too hard"

"My pupil is dilated... ...6 inches. Guess I shouldn't have believed her nine months ago when she said she was on the pill. 13 year old girls are such liars."

"What do you call an Indian bloke in a submarine? Mandeep."

"'Do what you want!' she cried lying back on the bed. 'I love a man who takes control.' 'OK' he said and put her CDs into alphabetical order."

"Mosquitto and Blondes what's the difference between a Mosquitto and a blonde? A Mosquitto stops sucking when you slap it !"

"You and I are just different. And by different I mean you're stupid."

"Go down a water slide without water and you'll understand why foreplay is so important."

"Adrian Peterson got a new job... he was picked up by the Minnesota twins... He's gonna be their new ""switch hitter"""

"My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets."

"I love killing for fun ""Sociopath! Arrest him!"" I mean I love hunting ""Why didn't you say so my good man, want to kill together sometime?"""