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Joke of the Day

"A man goes into a library asking for a book on suicide... The librarian says ""F*** off, you won't bring it back."""

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"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, since he's too short to be an ese."
"[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] ""I've counted these fries."""
"Donald Trump is a proof that internet comments can turn into a human and run for a president"
"Woman's pant pockets are like their rights. There, but only for show."
"Why do porn sites have a share to Google plus button I don't want my friends to know I have Google plus"
"I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds."
"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "
"Two cows walk in to a bar... Then one of the cows says: ""*Mooooo*"", then the other replies, ""*Fuck, I was supposed to say that*"""
"Why did the green bean go to jail? He was disturbing the peas."