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Joke of the Day
"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."
Next Joke
"The first day of school I signed up for English, Math, Science and Language. The rest, as they say, was History."
"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Until they kicked me out of the library"
"ITS A BOY"" I shouted ""A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!"
"My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together! Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing"
"Life is like a box of chocolates.... It doesn't last too long for fat people."
"Just gonna take a nice stroll across the OMG ABORT ABORT!!!! - squirrels"
"I used to work as a waiter at an insane asylum... Serving soup to nuts."
"I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park... ...But sequels, uh, find a way."
"Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon? He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles"