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Joke of the Day

"Making French toast is a lot like making regular toast. The only difference is that you use your tongue."

"Did you hear the joke about the 100-inch pizza? It's hard to deliver."

"What did the doctor say when a Chinese baby with down syndrome was born? Congratulations, you have a healthy new baby!"

"If I got a dollar every time a girl said I wasn't her type, I'd be her type."

"when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said ""that's not how you do it."" I never asked him the right way & it haunts me"

"What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called? Anonymous Anonymous"

"HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes."

"What would an employee only entrance to a brothel be called in Westeros? A Hodor..."

"Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two."

"Give weeds an inch... And they'll take a yard."