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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter that I'm bad at spelling, I'm the best physicist just give me a sodastream and watch."

"Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet? The women's room."

"What did the bird say when it flew into the window? Owl"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child... they could call it Slush Puppy :)"

"Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?"

"Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it? Just pregnancy desire"

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"

"Why couldn't the blacksmith use lead to create the lock? Because it would have Lead(II) trouble."