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Joke of the Day

"Daddy can u get me a drink? ""No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink"" Fine *goes to fridge ""While you're there can you grab me a beer?"""

"Animal puns. Animal puns are not funny in any neigh, sheep or farm."

"Puts an ""I love Daddy"" shirt on my kids until they're old enough to read."

"I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money."

"Having a sexual fetish for shirts is wrong... The bible says ""Adam and Eve"", not ""penis in the sleeve""!"

"Did you recover from your operation? Not yet. The doctor says I still have two more payments."

"if weird al is so popular now they should call him normal al. thats what i say on it"

"eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying."

"How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt."

"I saw two lesbians kissing in the park. ""There's a time and a place for that,"" I told my wife. She said, ""Yeah..."" I said, ""It's 9pm and my house."""