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Joke of the Day

"A very attractive woman walked into a bar Asked everyone what they wanted to drink, everyone wanted two liquor"

"{Police Job Interview} Captain: Go out & kill 5 Blacks, 3 Mexicans & a kitten. Recruit: Why kill a kitten? Captain: You're hired."

"I love my cat to bits. That's why I planted a C4 in her bed!"

"Just thought of the best senior quote "" "" -Taylor Swift"

"I was the principle subject in a lengthy experiment on laziness They told me the results but I couldn't be fucked listening."

"48% of soda fountains tested positive for possible fecal contamination, meaning it's likely you've unknowingly been drinking cream soda."

"Just got a gift for my dog. I bought my dog a cute toy from the pet shop and she immediately broke it. I demanded my money back but the manager said they won't refund a dead hamster."

"What do you call a Female Clown? A Clunt."

"What's Blue and not heavy? Light Blue."

"What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common? I cry whenever I see them."