181673

Joke of the Day

"HILARY AND THE TRUTH Hilary Clinton saying she is going to tell the truth is like an atheist saying 'God bless you.'"

"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% other people cheapening the meaning of the word ""genius""."

"To all you hilarious guys telling Ronda Rousey jokes today: Seize your moment, gents! Talk about a woman *and* look like the winner by comparison!"

"Do you have to be from Vietnam to open up a restaurant called ""Viet Noms?"" I'm asking for a friend"

"Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one...."

"I painted my computer black hoping it would run faster, but now it just doesn't work."

"Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert? They found traces of Mercury in him."

"I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head."

"I lost my watch the other day. I'm sure it'll turn up, but there's no telling when."

"How do you wake up a loafer? With a shoe horn."