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Joke of the Day

"HILARY AND THE TRUTH Hilary Clinton saying she is going to tell the truth is like an atheist saying 'God bless you.'"

"*leans out office door* Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch. *goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*"

"Life is like a shower Fat people don't have very good ones"

"I don't like listening to loud frequencies. After a while, it hertz your ears."

"I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer."

"I came home drunk last night and my wife looks at me says ""Drunk Again"" and I said ""Me Too!!"

"What do you call a Jamaican Proctologist? Pokemon"

"At least a zombie would love me for my brain."

"What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet."

"Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah."