181582
Joke of the Day
"The Spanish word of the day is wheelchair. Ex. There's only one donut left, so wheelchair."
Next Joke
"I won't get a girl pregnant because I only have sex at night, when my sperm is asleep."
"What do you call a musician's best friend? A drummer..."
"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"
"Nothing waters down the word ""ultimate"" like ultimate frisbee."
"Give a man a fish and he'll be like, ""Dude I'm allergic to fish."" TEACH a man to fish and he'll be like, ""THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH"""
"Where does a legged waitress work? IHOP."
"Me: That was fun! Fist me! Him: What?! Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles* Him: ....."
"me *sneezes* cw: Bless you me *sneezes* cw: Allergies? [flashback to me snorting pepper because my kid dared me to] me: Yeah, I guess so"
"Eight glasses of water a day? Nope. I do a minimum of sixteen. Keeps you looking young. Take me for example. I was born in 1926."