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Joke of the Day

"Today I swallowed two pieces of string... Later they came out tied together, I shit you knot."

"My math text book got recalled We were told it had too many problems"

"I watched the bonus features on a porn movie today. It just showed a woman crying in the shower, washing all the cum out of her hair."

"A great joke that only air conditioners will get! On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan."

"What do you call an Australian who's prejudiced against grains? A riceist. (It sounds better when you say it aloud)"

"Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms? The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me."

"but how do I know if a guy hates me FOR ME"

"Help! I need a communist christmas one liner! Going to a Christmas party with a communist christmas sweater. Need a good one liner... help!"

"Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!"

"Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty"