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Joke of the Day
"""HEY, WHERE'S THAT BOOK?!"" (Dewey Decibel System)"
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"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono."
"I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: ""of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."""
"What movie aspect ratio do cats prefer? Litterbox."
"Teacher: ""what does the fat cow give you?"" Student: ""Homework!"""
"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"
"I wish Benedict Cumberbatch played Q in 007 Then I could call him Benedict ""Q"" Cumberbatch."
"Here's a FedEx joke Actually, you'll get it tomorrow"
"What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes? A LexiCon"
"What did the car-painter say to the carpenter? ""You sound just like me!"""