181246
Joke of the Day
"I stopped reading posts about song lyrics because they remind me of somebody that I used to know"
Next Joke
"I don't always give her an orgasm, but when I do.. She spits it back at me."
"(business meeting) *drops pen on the floor* *bends over to pick it up* *shirt comes untucked* *all the jelly beans start falling out*"
"This is what I say to people who are against abortions Don't get an abortion"
"What do women and hand grenades have in common? When you pull the ring off, your house goes away"
"A friend of mine asked me, ""what rhymes with orange?"" I said, ""no, it doesn't"". *Credit to Jimmy Carr.* **Edit:** ITT: door hinge, syringe, whore binge, Blorenge."
"People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology... I guess that it's my Achilles wrist."
"What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot... Mitosis"
"When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake? Nobody. The pigs all jump in."
"What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business? A Pte-redact-yl"