181018
Joke of the Day
"I came, I saw, the neighbors complained."
Next Joke
"When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years... I dunno...I don't have 2020 vision."
"If the opposite of con is pro... Is the opposite of constitution, prostitution?"
"Still wondering if that guy I saw yesterday wearing a t-shirt in the pool was fat or not. So hard to tell!"
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."
"What do you call a water bottle that objects? A rebuttle"
"The Unabomber What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common? They were both fingered by their brother."
"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind."
"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"
"What's the deal with lampshades? If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it."