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Joke of the Day

"Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani military post and a Pakistani elementary school? Beats me, I just man the drone."

"A waffle house is like a gas station bathroom that serves waffles."

"I can turn anything into a boomerang just by throwing it straight up"

"What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint? A Bug report"

"I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too"

"I heard they were going to put Frederick Douglass on the Fifty. But they were worried it would only be worth $30."

"I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate, And the one that works at Nintendo."

"African swimmer"

"My friend threw a block of cheese at me today....... I said 'that's not very mature'"