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Joke of the Day

"What noise did the dumbbells make when they were dropped? ... Dong-Ding."

"I held a solipsist party at my house yesterday Everyone was there."

"Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her."

"My girlfriend is quite pessimistic about our sex life, but I'm a vagina half full kind of guy."

"I was born during the great depression... My mothers."

"Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face."

"5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now... That's a perfect vision joke."

"Whats the difference between a Polish woman and a hockey goalkeeper?? A hockey goalie changes his pads after 3 periods"

"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."

"Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright"