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Joke of the Day

"What does Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common? They both say ""insert Bill here"""

"An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter ""How do you feel?"" ""How would you feel"" the astronout replied ""if you were stuck here on top of 20000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"""

"Grandpa and Kid Jokes Grandpa: kid....see!! Your Teacher is coming... You're better hide..!! You're absent today Kid: Grandpa!!! not me but you!! I told her that ""You Died"""

"Man texted: ""I want you to be my little angle."" I answered: ""Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?"" Two days have passed, no reply."

"How are women like condoms? They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick."

"What do you call a midget with no arms and a stumpy leg? A person. Don't be an asshole."

"Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!"

"So I finally figured out how click bait works..."

"What do you call a dirty Chinese crab? A crusty asian"

"What's a pirate's favorite workout program? Pirates (pronounced like pilates)"