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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Annabel ! Annabel who ? Annabel would be useful on this door !"

"What does the dead comedian cook with? Deadpan"

"""How about a month of obligations, overspending, difficult travel and horrible weather?"" - The pitch for the month of December."

"My uncle Fred used to say "" What you can't hear can't harm you"" *used to* He was killed by ninjas."

"How is my penis like a dead midget? They're both a little stiff"

"What's sexist and not a concern for feminist? Misandry"

"I rented this bobcat to help me dig up my new pool but he won't even hold the shovel. He's just eating all the neighborhood squirrels."

"eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying."

"Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs I said: Oh strange! It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs? I said: no, the fact that you talk"

"Like my therapist always says, ""I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"""