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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?"

"My car horn hasn't worked for a long time. Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, ""Beep repaired!"""

"I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check."

"Not a racing fan at all but 3 simple words would have me practically living at the dog track: little monkey jockeys"

"What do graphic designers smoke up to get high? Adobe."

"If Being with someone is so great.... ....then why do all my married friends ask me how to delete their internet histories?"

"Conjunctivitis.com Now there's a site for sore eyes."

"Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit? It was the herd shot round the world."

"You ever had a wish sandwhich It's were you have 2 pieces of white bread, and wish you had some meat"

"For the New Year, I vow to take a selfie at 720p.m. It's a decent resolution."