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Joke of the Day

"New Adage! Coined a phrase today and wanted to share: ""You either go with the flow, or get flushed down the toilet."" Pretty cunning don't 'cha think?"

"Laura Bassett must be an alcoholic... She couldn't even wait for the game to finish before she hit the bar!"

"What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep ? Trunkquilizers !"

"Geometry is so discriminatory How come there are only straight angles?"

"I spent the entire day hanging out at the swimming pool Until someone told me and I eventually tucked it back in."

"What car do rich black people drive? A Countach"

"I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..."

"What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed? Yes but we cantaloupe."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"What's the worst gear for America? Cruz control."