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Joke of the Day
"Why People Get Married"
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"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."
"Leia: I love you. Han: I know. [gets frozen in carbonite] [two years pass] [gets unfrozen] Leia: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ""I KNOW?!"""
"A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes that's ridiculous I said, my dogs don't ride bikes."
"What Do the Joker and 60,000,000 people have in common? They just wanna watch the world burn"
"What do you call... What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio."
"Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history"
"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"
"So, an Irishman walks out of a pub... ... Hey, it could happen!"
"[leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket"