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Joke of the Day

"Once I participated in a ""Nice Guy"" 5K Run..... We all finished last."

"[steps off crosstrainer] ""Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--"" ""Shall I call an ambulance?"" ""Please."""

"Is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!"

"My wife left me because she said I had a drinking problem After she left I lost the urge to drink."

"I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too."

"Reddit is a lot like being married... You are free to express your opinion on anything you like but you will quickly be informed as to why you are wrong."

"Why did the Muslim cross the road? His dick was stuck in the goat"

"""Beat me."" said the masochist. ""No."" said the sadist."

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

"*prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure"