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Joke of the Day

"Diagnose Doctor: Well, those results look bad... Patient: How bad are they? Doctor: It depends, how old are you? Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't."

"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes."

"What has 5 arms and rocks? Def Leppard"

"What did Jay Sherman say about your breath? It stinks!"

"Instagram better not use my cloud pics. THEY'RE MY CLOUDS GET YOUR OWN CLOUDS ZUCKERBERG!"

"Why did the butcher divorce his wife? He caught her eating his competitor's meat!"

"Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome."

"I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran."

"Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker."

"What do you call a large bread disco? [deleted]"