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Joke of the Day

"I find that corn fields are the best places to vent your frustrations... ...because they're all ears."

"Have you heard of the 300-lb. college student from Japan? He graduated sumo cum laude"

"Why do cows have hooves and not feet? Because they lactose."

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who know binary and those who don't."

"Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president"

"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."

"Beethoven hyping the crowd. Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY? *crowd cheers* Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works."

"I like my coffee how I like my women Without someone else's dick in it."

"It was so cold last night I saw a lawyer with his hands in his *own* pockets."