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Joke of the Day

"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan."

"Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving? Because you only need one arm to drum along.."

"I remember.. going to a store with 20$ and coming home with groceries to last for a week. But now? Damn security cameras everywhere.."

"Did you see the fantastic four? Human torch played by uncle ruckus."

"Bob's volunteered to give a C programming workshop but needs a topic Give that man some pointers"

"What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time *door closes on way out*"

"Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their shit, or is it just me?"

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"If God is a woman, then why aren't we sandwiches?"

"One dark night, there was a rustle in the bushes... Russel, get out of the bushes!"