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Joke of the Day
"How do you know shes the one? Because she Gives you a blowjobs even when she's dead."
Next Joke
"When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to ""make God laugh""? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to ""make God some bookshelves."""
"That awkward moment where your baby comes out black, and you don't want to keep it, but you have to because you're black too..."
"What's someone who hates underwear's favorite song? Free Ballin - Foo Fighters"
"Did I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever got? It was awesome!"
"I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today..... That bitch was seeing somebody else."
"Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they'll age, and most of them you regret creating."
"Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly."
"I'm going as ""Twitter Elite"" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me."
"You know what sucks? Babies"