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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet? Because the P is silent."
Next Joke
"Give me a compliment? Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"What kind of car does a pirate drive? Toyota YARis"
"What does the French chef say to the skeleton? Bony Appetit"
"[at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit"
"Working at a Land Rover factory is so interesting I make a new Discovery every day"
"10th anniversary So my girlfriends dad just accused me of pedophilia, she is 18 and I am 32. It ruined our 10th anniversary"
"HEY LOOK AT MY COCK!!! Isn't it a pretty rooster?"
"Me: Take this My Uber passenger: *holds gun in blood soaked car* WTF JUS HAPPENED? Me: You tell me ""Mr Finger prints on a murder weapon"""
"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"