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Joke of the Day

"My new year's resolution is that donuts have no calories."

"Where do emos get their gaming gear? Razer."

"All the people that tried partying 'til the cows come home, are either stuck at home with a cow or dead from alcoholism."

"Never let your friends feel lonely! disturb them at all times!"

"Someone hash-tagged ""share the love,"" and I read it as ""shave the love."" I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that."

"My parents haven't called with a computer problem in 48 hours. I'm sending my brother over there to check on them."

"wife: You're home early me [hugging the dog] I had to see you"

"People say America is free, but Korea is free too! Whenever I was born, my parents gave me a choice: Piano or Violin."

"Everyday I get at least 3 people who follow me and then immediately delete their accounts. proposed theory: My tweets kill people."

"When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. . . . I was right."