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Joke of the Day

"I am so lonely The only ex I have is in my chromosome XY :/"

"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."

"I'd make a joke about Jonestown... But the punch line is too long."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea"

"1. Be born of a virgin 2. Walk on water 3. Get crucified 4. Return from the dead 5. ??? 6: Prophet"

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field"

"""Hey! I don't remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!""--George Lucas's wife re-watching their old wedding vids."

"""[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends"" - Overheard on the bus"

"Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook."

"What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house? The DaVinci Abode"