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Joke of the Day

"Breakups are worst in China.... ... Wherever you go you see his/her face."

"I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie and he said we could discuss it tonight in a ""National Town Meeting."""

"When I get naked in the bathroom.. The shower usually gets turned on."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Husband: Honey, do you know why the chicken crossed over? Wife: No, why? Husband: Because it was from your side!"

"Why do people still buy bottle openers? I just don't see the reason for purchasing a bottle opener. I've been using my seat belt for years!"

"All the kids had a name except"

"My ex girlfriend is like an archaeologist ...always digging up useless shit from the past"

"The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking."

"I like my girls like Han from Star Wars with a hairy Wookie."

"What's brown and sticky?... a stick. What's brown and runny?... Usain Bolt"