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Joke of the Day
"So I had a blind date this weekend... I lied.   She could see."
Next Joke
"What's the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver."
"I'm great with kids because mentally I'm on their level."
"The Detroit Lions That's it; that's the joke."
"My years of napping and making out with strangers have prepared me for a solid career as a CPR dummy"
"What is one thing that I would never give? I don't give a rat's ass!"
"2 wrongs don't make a right But 3 rights make a left"
"Took my guitar to an open mic night at a bar. Yea, it sucked cuz they made me play one less chord. Guess one of 'em was a minor."
"if you're stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life"
"A man is told he is drunk by a Bartender He shouted ""I am not drunk"" The Bartender shouted ""Tell the time!"" The man walked up to the clock and shouted at the Clock ""I AM NOT FUCKING DRUNK"""