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Joke of the Day

"Why did truffle get invited to the party? Cos he was a fun-guy"

"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""

"Sine, cosine and ln(x) are at a party Sine approaches cosine and says, ""Hey, what's ln(x) doing over in the corner by himself?"". Cosine responds, ""You see, ln(x) doesn't integrate very well""."

"A Wizard walks into a gay bar, and disappears with a poof."

"A friend made a list of questions for his mom to answer about childhood flashbacks She threw them out"

"Bring in 2015 the same way you came into this world. Naked and screaming."

"I changed my wifi name to ""14.4k dial up connection"" so no one would bother stealing my signal."

"Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits."

"How do you install ""blackout curtains""? They just get hammered."

"I've set my hair on fire lighting a cigarette before, so I'm always impressed when the movie-hero walks away from an explosion unharmed."