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Joke of the Day

"You guys want to hear a joke? Women's rights."

"Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever."

"How much did the pirate's new earrings cost him? A buccaneer"

"#rubbishjokes What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A panda with a set of drums."

"If you're moving to a new house for a ""fresh start,"" congratulations your new house is haunted."

"The year is 2005. Hollaback Girl is playing. We find a table and discuss how we each decided on our MySpace top 8. Everyone is ok with this."

"A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar... ...and asks for a shot. Bartender, ""what's the occasion?"" Atom, ""I think I lost an electron."" Bartender, ""you sure?"" Atom, ""I'm positive."""

"How did I get out of Iraq? Iran."

"I hate when I accidentally say ""I love you"" instead of ""I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"""

"*says grace before snorting a fat rail of cocaine*"