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Joke of the Day

"If girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice ... Why do they smell like tuna?"

"What do you call a fancy toilet? A dapper crapper"

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity Twice!"

"Ebenezer Scrooge must have been tripping pretty badly to see all those ghosts He probably popped a Marley"

"A suicide bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines.... ....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place."

"KING ARTHUR: ...and that is our noble quest. REPORTER: K, great. What shape is your table? A: Um, round? But that's not really... R: Got it"

"This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be."

"What happened to the the Pentagon after the plane crash in 9/11? It turned into a hexagon."

"Me: This is a beautiful flower arrangement Host: That's a salad."

"The .01% of germs that remain alive in your mouth after mouthwash are the Liam Neeson guys who are really pissed and looking for revenge."