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Joke of the Day
"What musical instrument should you never, ever trust? The Lyre."
Next Joke
"At Indian Restaurant ""Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"" ""Samosa?"" ""No, thank you, I'm full now."""
"If you want to be happy... For an hour, buy some ice cream. For a day, see a movie. For a week, go on vacation. For a month, get a new pet. For a year, get married."
"I got arrested today for feeding the homeless guys on my street... And to top it off, the cops took away my potato gun."
"Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, ""I'm just a cashier"" and that I ""need to leave Macy's."""
"HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness"
"What is red and hangs around trees? A baby hit by a snow blower"
"I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros."
"getting a teardrop tattoo for every leaf i've accidentally stepped on"
"If any of my jokes or status have offended you, I am truly sorry......... that you're such a pu$$y......."