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Joke of the Day

"A cash machine has just charged me two pound for a transaction but told me to cover my PIN to prevent from being robbed. Pretty ironic if you ask me"

"I just saw a BMW driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?"

"Superbowl XLVII - How does Beyonce answer the phone? *HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show"

"Waiter: Did you save room for dessert? Me: Not really, I'm stuffed Waiter: Ok, I'll bring the check Me: I'll have the chocolate cake."

"Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels."

"There's this hot girl in my college writing class. Her body is a 10, but her intro and conclusion need some work."

"If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms."

"I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not even an actor."

"The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon."

"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"