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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb? It's blowing up"

"Summing up my life in 5 words: 'I fail at maths'"

"What is the difference between a Lira and a Dollar? A Dollar"

"Why is Superman's costume so tight? Because it only comes in size 'S'"

"I never point out when someone's zipper is down. I just zip it up for them."

"Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA put a man on the moon. We put a bird into pigs."

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk in to a bar. And he orders a drink."

"Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else."

"Tough break for cows. They're filled with delicious meat and covered in leather. How are we supposed to not kill them?"

"If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing? Clawing at the lid of her coffin."